The Shadow in the Mirror

I don't know when it started—this habit of turning discomfort into a weapon. Maybe it was in elementary school, when someone else got the compliment I had been craving. Maybe it was earlier, when I first learned that approval was a currency and I was constantly overdrawing my account.

Whatever the case, I know what it feels like. That sharp, uneasy knot in the chest when someone walks into the room and reminds you of everything you’re not. It’s not jealousy, at least not the classical kind. It’s something more confusing, almost innominate, something that looks like judgment but tastes like self-doubt. And the worst part? It demands action. A snide remark, a cold shoulder, a gentle but deliberate exclusion. Humans and their manipulative ways. A way to remind them—and yourself—that they don’t belong, that they are the problem.

But the problem is never them. It’s that shadow.

The one in the mirror, the one that lurks around with it's murky energy when the lights are off and no one is watching. The voice that whispers, You are not enough. And because fighting your own reflection feels impossible, you turn outward. You throw shade instead of confronting the storm brewing inside you. You act like their presence takes something from you, as if worth is a limited resource and you’ve just been shortchanged.

It’s exhausting, really.

And it never ends. Because there will always be another person, another moment, another mirror showing you what you don’t want to see. Until one day, you’re forced to stop. Maybe because someone calls you out. Maybe because you lose something that actually matters. Maybe because you look at yourself long enough to realize that the real enemy isn’t the person you’ve been tearing down—it’s the fear you’ve been feeding. Or maybe you're just one of the few good eggs left on earth?

So what now?

Now, you face it. You unlearn the lie that someone else’s light dims yours. You stop seeing competition in every pair of eyes that meet yours. You acknowledge the fear without letting it dictate your actions. And most importantly, you choose—every single time—to be better than the shadow in the mirror.

Now, you face it. You unlearn the lie that someone else’s light dims yours. You stop seeing competition in every pair of eyes that meet yours. You acknowledge the fear without letting it dictate your actions. And most importantly, you choose—every single day—to believe in your own path, to trust that what is meant for you will always find you

And this is what it all boils down to—your self-esteem. You don’t have to project your insecurities onto others. You don’t have to convince yourself that someone else’s success takes away from yours. The truth is, opportunities and assignments meant for you will always be yours.

Confidence doesn’t come from tearing others down. It comes from knowing that what is meant for you cannot be taken by anyone else. It comes from realizing that friendships, relationships, and even recognition (or peace) will only ever find you when you are truly seen for who you are. The right people won’t be distracted by someone else’s presence—they will see you.

And even if, for a moment, you feel like someone else is ahead, like they do things better, like they have a future that looks brighter—so what? Their path isn’t yours. Their success doesn’t cancel yours. The sooner you let go of this mindset, the sooner you’ll start living for yourself instead of against someone else.

Be the main character in your own story and act like it.

Not for them. Not for approval.

For you.