"Sinners Judging Sinners for Sinning Differently"

There's a video that went viral sometime sgo, I can't remember when. Ayoung woman in a short hijab and jeans walking into a mosque, camera strategically angled to capture the faces of other women as she passes. The caption: "Watch how these 'righteous' sisters judge me with their eyes."

The comments section exploded. Thousands of people sharing their own stories of being looked at, being judged, being made to feel less Muslim by women in longer hijabs and abayas in the comments. The narrative was clear: the modestly dressed sisters are self-righteous hypocrites who think they're better than everyone else.

And look, I'm not even going to pretend that problem doesn't exist. It does. There are women who wear niqab and treat sisters in shorter hijabs like they're walking sins. There are communities where the length of your abaya determines your worth. That's real. It's wrong. And it needs to be addressed.

But somewhere between addressing legitimate judgment and creating content, people have turned this into a trend. A performance. A way to position yourself as the humble, real Muslim fighting against the oppressive, judgmental ones.

And I need us to be introspective about what's actually happening here.

A sister walks into the mosque wearing a cap that shows her edges, maybe her neck is visible, her jeans are tight and all that stuff. Another sister, in proper jilbab ,is sitting there minding her own business, probably thinking about her own sins, her own struggles, what she needs to pick up from the market after Maghrib.

They don't make eye contact. Maybe the sister in proper jilbab didn't hear the salam because she was distracted. Maybe she's socially awkward. Maybe she's going through something exhausting and doesn't have the energy for pleasantries.

But the assumption is immediate: she didn't respond because she's judging me. Because she thinks she's better than me. Because she sees my short hijab and has decided I'm not ‘Muslim enough’.

And suddenly there's a TikTok about it. Or a thread about it. A whole narrative about how judgmental the "long hijab" sisters are, how they make people feel unwelcome, how they're the reason people leave Islam.

But here's the question nobody wants to ask: are they actually judging you, or are you projecting your own discomfort onto them?

Because if you know what you're wearing isn't quite right, if you're aware that your hijab isn't meeting the requirements, then seeing someone who is meeting those requirements will make you uncomfortable. Not because they're judging you. But because their presence reminds you of the standard you're not meeting.

And instead of sitting with that discomfort, instead of asking yourself why it bothers you, it's easier to decide they're the problem. They're judgmental. They're self-righteous. They think they're perfect.

Meanwhile, that sister probably isn't thinking about you at all.

Let me be clear: I'm not saying judgment doesn't happen. I'm saying we've gotten so comfortable crying "judgment" that we've made it impossible to have honest conversations about what Islam actually requires.

Because if there's one thing I've noticed in these previous years, and now in 2026. There's this whole aesthetic of "I'm on my journey, don't judge me, we're all sinners, only Allah can judge."

And it sounds very humble and lovely. It sounds spiritual. It sounds like the kind of thing a mature, self-aware Muslim would say.

But let's be brutally honest about what it actually means in practice: I'm doing what I want, and I don't want you to say anything about it even though Islam is a religion with rules and a literal manual for every single thing.

It is literally everywhere. The "modest fashion influencer" whose edges and neck are always visible. The "hijabi" whose hijab is purely decorative, doing none of the things hijab is actually supposed to do. The "Muslim content creator" making videos about Islam while dressed in ways that directly contradict Islamic guidelines on modesty.

And when anyone points this out, when anyone gently suggests that maybe if you're representing Islam online you should try to follow Islamic dress code, the response is immediate and rehearsed:

"Don't judge me, I'm on my journey."

“Here comes the haram police.”

"We're all sinners."

"Only Allah can judge."

"Actions are judged by intentions."

And my favorite: "Worry about your own sins."

Let me address these one by one, because we need to stop using Islamic concepts to excuse Islamic violations.

"I'm on my journey." Beautiful sentiment. But a journey implies movement. If you learned three years ago that hijab requires covering your hair and neck, and you're still not doing it three years later while calling yourself a hijabi influencer, you're not on a journey. You're parked. You've decided this is where you're staying, and you're using "journey" language to make it sound temporary when really it's permanent.

Islam does recognize that people are at different stages. That change takes time. That some people need to grow into certain obligations gradually. But the key word is growing. If you're comfortable where you are, if you have no intention of changing, if you're actually building a brand around your current state, that's not a journey. That's a destination you've chosen while pretending you're still traveling.

"We're all sinners." True. Absolutely true. But not all sins are equal, and not all sins are treated the same way in Islam.

There's a difference between sinning privately and sinning publicly. There's a difference between struggling with something and celebrating it. There's a difference between falling short and teaching others that falling short is fine.

When you have 100,000 followers and you're presenting yourself as a Muslim woman while consistently not meeting basic requirements of hijab, you're not just sinning for yourself. You're teaching other women that this is acceptable. You're normalizing something Islam explicitly addresses. You're making sisters who are trying to follow the guidelines properly feel like they're the weird ones, the extreme ones, the ones who are "too much."

That's not the same as someone who sins in private, feels bad about it, tries to do better. That's public sin that influences others. And Islam treats those very differently.

"Only Allah can judge." This one kills me because it's technically true but completely misapplied.

Yes, only Allah can judge your heart. Only Allah knows your intentions. Only Allah can determine your ultimate fate.

But Allah also gave us a Book and a Sunnah with clear guidelines. And when someone is publicly violating those guidelines while claiming to represent Islam, we're allowed to say "that's not in line with what Allah said."

That's not judgment. That's just stating facts.

If someone posted a video drinking alcohol and said "don't judge me, I'm Muslim and I'm on my journey," we'd all recognize that as ridiculous. We'd say "you can call yourself Muslim, but you can't drink alcohol and represent it as Islamically acceptable."

But somehow when it comes to hijab, we've decided that any mention of the actual requirements is judgment, oppression, making people feel bad.

Why?

"Actions are judged by intentions." This is my favorite misuse of hadith. Yes, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said actions are judged by intentions. But that doesn't mean good intentions make wrong actions right.

If I intend to pray but face the wrong direction, my prayer isn't valid just because I meant well. If I intend to fast but eat and drink all day, I'm not fasting just because I had good intentions. Intention matters, but it doesn't override the actual requirements of an act of worship.

Hijab has requirements. Covering the hair, neck, and body except face and hands. Loose enough not to show the shape of your body. Not attracting attention through bright colors or decorations that defeat the purpose.

You can have all the good intentions in the world, but if you're not meeting those requirements, you're not wearing hijab. You're wearing a scarf in a style you've decided is close enough.

And here's the part that makes me the most tired: we've created this culture where the people trying to follow the guidelines properly are made to feel bad.

The sister who wears proper hijab in 40-degree heat? She's "extreme." The sister who doesn't show her edges and admonishes you just ince not to show yours. She's "judgmental." The sister who gently explains what hijab actually requires? She's "making people feel bad about themselves."

We've somehow twisted things so that following Islam makes you the problem, and the people who want to follow Islam their own way are the victims.

Let me say something that's going to make people uncomfortable: not everything is a journey. Some things are just choices.

If you've been Muslim for ten years, you know hijab is required. You know what it entails. You've had scholars explain it, you've read the verses, you've heard the hadith. At this point, you're not on a journey of discovering what hijab is. You're making a choice about whether to do it.

And that's between you and Allah. Genuinely. Your hijab or lack of hijab is your business and Allah's business.

But the minute you make it public, the minute you build a platform around it, the minute you present yourself as a Muslim woman to thousands or millions of people while not following the guidelines, it stops being just between you and Allah. Now you're teaching. You're influencing. You're showing young girls that this is what a Muslim woman looks like.

And that's where the rest of us are allowed to say: no, that's not what Islam teaches.

That's not judgment. That's pure correction. And Islam not only permits correction, it requires it in certain situations.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said whoever sees an evil should change it with his hand, and if he cannot, then with his tongue, and if he cannot, then with his heart, and that is the weakest of faith.

When someone is publicly representing Islam incorrectly, speaking up isn't judgment. It's literally what we're supposed to do.

But we've been so conditioned by this "don't judge" culture that we can't even have these conversations anymore. Any attempt to discuss Islamic guidelines is immediately shut down as judgment, as making people feel bad, as driving people away from Islam.

And meanwhile, what's actually driving people away from Islam? The confusion. The mixed messages. The "Muslim influencers" who present one version of Islam that's easy and comfortable and accommodating, so when someone actually tries to learn what Islam requires, it feels harsh and extreme by comparison.

We're creating a generation of Muslims who think Islam is whatever they're comfortable with. Who think "journey" means you never have to arrive at a particular eureka moment. Who think "intentions" matter more than actions. Who think being corrected is the same as being attacked.

And the sisters who are actually trying to follow Islam properly? They're exhausted. They're tired of being made to feel like extremists for doing what's required. They're tired of being called judgmental for existing in proper hijab while others exist in improper hijab. They're tired of bending over backwards to make people comfortable with not following guidelines that are clear and explicit.

Let me end with this: we are all sinners. That part is true. Every single one of us falls short in some way. Every single one of us has things we need to work on.

But there's a difference between struggling with sin and celebrating it. Between falling short privately and teaching others it's fine. Between working on yourself and building a brand around your shortcomings.

If you're genuinely on a journey, good. May Allah make it easy for you. But a journey requires movement. It requires effort. It requires actually trying to get closer to the standard, not just staying where you are while calling it progress.

And if you're going to be public about your Islam, if you're going to have a platform, if you're going to represent this religion to others, then yes, you're going to be held to the standard. Not by me. By the Book and the Sunnah that you claim to follow.

That's not judgment. That's just what Islam is.

And we need to stop pretending they're the same thing.

May Allah grant us all thabaat.