In English, We Say 'I Write Fiction'

In English, we say, "I write fiction."

In poetry, what we mean is

I'm bleeding quietly, but I've made it into a rhyme.

We call it fiction because it's easier

than saying this happened to me.

Because the truth, when written raw,

feels like standing naked in a crowded room.

So we hand our pain to strangers,

dress it up in pretty lines,

and pretend it's someone else's story.

Eighty percent of the time,

it's not imagination

it's a memory in disguise.

A heartbreak reworded,

a joy replayed,

a fear rewritten until it feels like art.

And when they ask,

"What inspired this?"

we smile and say,

"Oh, it's fiction."

But deep down we know

every writer is just someone

who learned how to hide their truths

in plain sight.

We give our protagonist a different name,

change the setting from our bedroom to Paris,

make the ending hopeful when ours wasn't.

We call it creative license

when really it's self-preservation

taking what broke us

and breaking it differently on paper

so maybe this time it makes sense.

The poems about longing?

Those are letters I never sent.

The ones about loss?

Eulogies for things still breathing.

The love poems?

Confessions I'm too afraid

to say without a metaphor standing guard.

I write about a girl who fell first

and call her fictional

because admitting she's me

means admitting I'm still harbouring

the burden of wanting someone

who existed just fine without me.

I write about grief like it's a character

when really it's my roommate,

the one who doesn't pay rent

but refuses to leave.

I write about faith and doubt

like they're debating in some abstract space

when really they're wrestling

in my chest at 3am

while I'm trying to pray.

Fiction is just the mask we wear

so the world won't ask too many questions.

So they won't look at us with pity

or worse, recognition.

So they won't say,

"Oh, you're the girl from that poem,"

“Oh that happened to you? Crazy!”

and suddenly we're exposed,

suddenly we're accountable

for all the feeling we put into words.

We write fiction

because nonfiction requires courage

we're still gathering.

Because saying "this is real"

means someone might say

"that's not how I remember it"

or "you're being dramatic"

or "it wasn't that deep."

So we hide behind imagination.

We claim invention.

We say we made it all up

even though anyone who knows us

can trace the bloodline

from our lives to our lines.

My colleague once told me,

"Writers don't lie, they just tweak the words

until it's bearable."

And she was right.

Every story I've written

is just my life

with the names changed

and the endings edited

to feel less like failure.

Every poem is a diary entry

I've dressed up for company.

Every character is some version of me

the brave one I wish I was,

the reckless one I'm afraid to be,

the broken one I'm trying to fix

by giving her a better story than mine.

So yes, I write fiction.

But this fiction is just a truth

that learned to wear lipstick,

a truth that got a makeover,

a truth that decided

it didn't want to be recognized

at the grocery store.

Fiction is honesty

with a pseudonym.

It's me telling you everything

while pretending I'm telling you nothing.

It's the safest way I know

to be vulnerable

to bleed in public

but call it performance art.

And maybe that's what all writing is:

a way to confess without confessing,

to scream without making a sound,

to say "this hurt me"

without having to watch you

decide what to do with that information.

So when you read my work

and something feels familiar,

when a line lands too close

to home,

when you think,

"She must have lived this"

You're right.

I did.

I just called it fiction

so I could survive

telling you the truth.

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_Fiction(⁠灬⁠º⁠‿⁠º⁠灬⁠)⁠♡